Not worth the guilt…


A trigger that should be my saving grace.. I should bask in the sober peaceful moment, but I drink instead.. Like a reward… I drink because if all the hard work I’ve been doing, all children in bed. Husband in bed.. Kitchen clean, laundry done.. I drink because it was a beautiful day.. I drink because I’m happy.. I drink because I haven’t been drinking.. I enjoy this fucked up moment.. Than I wake up today. To the guilt.. The self loathing.. The bullshit I say to myself to hurt myself so I don’t do this Any more…
I’ve made a connection…
I need to give myself a fucking break…
I need to admit the obvy..
I chose bullshit…
I choose peace…
I choose to start over…

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One thought on “Not worth the guilt…

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