Third time day three…


Once, twice three times a sober lady.. This shit is real… This shit is hard… Real Hard.. I am alone.. In a house full of life.. The littles Cary on.. Depending on me.. Waiting for guidance, and love, and structure.. I need these things too.. I have a marriage .. A partner, a best friend as well living here.. I cannot tell you what he needs right now… There are walls twisty turny tall walls built up around us.. I can see and physically feel them… He does not… I know what I need from him.. He can’t comprehend… I love him… I know he loves me… I am working on me… I am sending myself thru a mental and physical detox.. I am in this for the long haul.. I am destined to be sober… Show by being, waiting… Meditating… Practice makes perfect…. I DON’T WANT TO BE PERFECT! I know I will never be.. I want to be at peace with me.. And take care of myself first.. This is my need daily… I need to feel support.. And not from behind the wall of denial.. I have to distance myself.. I need to resort back to my sober bubble.. My gals and I… Yes my husband to.. I am now going thru the motions.. I do not believe he has heard my cries of help.. I need to confide in him without the rebut… I am broken.. With clear eyes for the future.. I cannot will not drink today.. I crave it .. Fuck that.. I will not…
Lex

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