Hi there sweetie….
how’s it going here on July 21?
I just read your blog, see your struggle and really identify with your pain. I was there too….those interminable start overs, never getting past the evening, caving at the slightest hint of pain or stress….and then actually stopping and living though the de-tox, the anger, the sadness, the cravings….this is HARD shit, HARD!
But I can promise you it gets better..solemn promise. It’s better for me, it’s better for so many people I know…it will be better for you, the farther you get from the drink.
I don’t have a partner who drinks living with me, so that is foreign to me and I cannot imagine how hard that is.
I’m going to make a suggestion of a couple resources that you may or may not know about,
If you go to the website cryingoutnow.com, besides being a great place to read many of the things you are going through, there are a number of great resources listed there. There is a podcast, free, that has been going on for a few months now..so you’ll have a nice backlog to listen to. It’s called The Bubble Hour and its real people talking about real life and real issues we face in sobriety. I am sure there is a show on drinking spouses, and I believe tonite’s show is going to be on setting boundries, something we are not the best at, right?
They also have a link to the Booze Free Brigade, which is a yahoo group where people post their stories, ask for help and identify with each other. That is where I found an online posse..it is great. They now have FB off shot which is way more immediate in help. Maybe join and see how it feels.
For me, having real life sober friends that i can call and talk with and hang with has been instrumental, and I know you now I go to AA. I’m always unsure what to say about this to people who say “it’s not for me:…it sure as shit wasn’t for me either! I hated it at the beginning, sat in the back pissed off, wouldn’t share, didn’t want to talk with anyone. No one comes in going “Yippee!! AA!!” All I know is I identified with real people there and it saved my ass, and continues to.
Anyway..that’s me. There are lots of online resources, and I encourage you to explore.
This may not be easy, but the rewards, the new life that awaits you and your littles…can be amazing.
Good stuff, Mishedup….
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