Decisions, deciding, and such….

I have forks in the road, and decisions to make… I am still fresh and new sober. I am weakish and still searching my support corners.. Feeling, feelings that have been covered in PinoGrisio for so long is raw and real and scary.. I have depression issues… This should be the time of my life… Clean sober alive 3 beautiful daughters health a roof over my head a husband head over heels in love with me… But happiness is hard to come by.. This is something that has gone on for a long time, and for a long time I pushed it aside. Took care of relationships, and needy friends, friends passing with cancer, babies, work, family, anything but me… So I drank.. Self medicating if you will… Such bullshit.. Putting myself on the back burner… Lying to myself and anyone interested in caring…
Now I have to be real and honest… I am taking to putting myself first.. This is not easy for me.. I am uncomfortable when others are… I don’t stop very often to just be and breathe.. I use excuse after excuse to keep myself uncomfortable in order for others to be good…
A few things to start… Decisions I have been putting off for a while…
1. Don’t drink when your uncomfy (your uncomfy often because you are human, and suffering a bit)
B) wake up daily and be grateful (these girls are the light in any darkness)
LAST: start small little changes will slowly become new parts of the day….
I am worth taking care of… I am the one who knows what is best for me…

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