I tried.. and failed.. I got shit face wasted last night.. thought I could test my self on just having a glass or two.. I know I was kidding myself.. I am still trying to love myself, but it is hard over the guilt and shame I threw my day into… This is hard.. the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and I know I need help.. I can not depend on my significant other for that.. He tried to be supportive since returning from my escape get away vacay, but I will not dwell on this.. This is my sobriety.. my shit.. my fucking body and soul and mind whom cannot drink or will just fuck things up… I am done.. I have been so good, healthy detoxing my body, and mind… the Cheap ass wine really did a doozy on my head.. which leads me to a new list.. a starting over list.. this is my life and my list…
I hate drinking because.
1. It makes me want to smoke
2. I do smoke and too much and breath like a big wooly mammoth the next day
3. I cannot just have one.. the fucking wolf says you have one, you actually finish the bottle and than some..
4. It makes me fell like a guilty jerky dumbass
5. Hangovers blow
6. My darling daughters deserve better
so my test was a big fucking failure, and I deserve life and sobriety.. lesson learned ya big fat stinkin wolfie.. you suck big time..