A list of 5 things………


Ok… So running errands and what ever else I was up to this morning I was going over some major life events in my head I did either Redunk Hungover or Buzzed or just plain drunky drunk.. And I was ashamed, annoyed, amused and embarrassed..  It is my #rd daughters 3rd birthday this weekend, and thought how happy I am to throw it sober, un-hung and anything in between..  I will enjoy every morsel of food, and precious face at the bash, as well as the magical faces of my children without any sort of booze goggle on!!

So I thought Id put it down so when I think I will pick up my XXL Goblet and fill it to the top, I can look at this list and say FUCK NO!!!!!!!!!

1. Most Birthdays for my children..

2. My first daughters baptism, and my vows in church.. I was so hungover, I am not sure how I made it thru the 3 hours of very Traditional vows and services.. That was awful..

3. My birthdays.. I cannot remember a birthday in the past 15 years I was not intoxicated.. and felt like supreme shit the next day.. I want to play, eat, dance and adventure on my next bday.. not act like a drunkin fool twisting my ankle having 3 men to drag me out of the bar.. (this happened 2 years ago, and I was traveling to NYC the next week and had to wear an ace bandage and boots because I fucked it up so much..)

4. My trade convention.. These things are chock full of education and inspiration and wonderful things that I love.. And in the 14 years doing my job, we drink the second we get there till the 2nd day we leave…  (4 years ago I got so drunk a week before, I fell and cracked my face on a stump.. Yes I DID> and had a terrible black eye and looked like a battered wife).. Shit.. I went with all my glamorous coworkers and businesses people looking like this.. and continued to drink my face away.. what the hell?? (my tummy is sick when I write this one…)

5. HOLIDAYS WITH MY FAMILY: this should be interesting.. we all gather at a family members house for a long weekend or even a week sometimes and go thru cases and cases of wine beer and booze.. What am I teaching my children? I cannot imagine my little gals growing up and behaving like this.. Most nights end with a tantrum or fight or just bawling idiots.. come on.. this year I’m keeping Holiday time to a minimum.. they are are a huge trigger for me so My boundaries are being put up as we speak…

6. any Music venue.. OMG tuesday was my first sober concert and I had so much fun.. was moved to tears and inspiration.. I love music, it is in my soul, and since like 16 or so always needed to attend fucked up some way or another.. once at a NIN concert I got so hammered I left my group and went potty during the first song, got lost and it took me an hour to find the vehicle we came in and passed out.. cold.. Anything could have happened.. what a dumb idea..  I look forward to attend musical events SOBER and share this love and passion with my daughters.. what an idea;)

Ok.. so this is good.. I have so many more.. but I am sweating and sick to my stomach.. This is good therapy.. I push these things into the back of my brain with the booze for so long its like its all a dream.. today.. I am sober 6 days.. and look forward to this lovely sober celebration weekend..

xo

Lex

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13 thoughts on “A list of 5 things………

  1. Pingback: Friday Night Pep-Talk 9.1 | Sober Courage

    • I got thru a crazy end of the day! With wild kiddos and bottles of booze brought home by husband.. I git past crave city and right over to bed and book! Thank you! Goodnight!

  2. You, my friend, are awesome. You are doing this! I have my own dirty little list tucked away too, and I refer to it often. My biggest motivation for getting sober is that I don’t want my son to think that it’s normal to get fucked up at every get-together, holiday, sporting event, etc. because its not.

    Good to know that you’re a NIN fan. Me too:-). Never saw them sober though.

    You will have an amazing weekend, for sure. Happy birthday to your little one!

  3. This is wonderful—the release of this sh*t that is haunting you. We all have that list and guess what? We all love each other despite the stuff we did in our past. Good for you for having the courage to post this. You brought back memories for me. I don’t feel that regret anymore (maybe a little sadness that I didn’t get sober sooner) but I’m human. This type of honest blogging will carry you far. Keep it up. Your writing is inspiring and hopeful to us all. Lisa

    • Wow! I’m honored to be nominated for anything.. When I have uninterrupted time I’ll look closely into what I’m being nominated for. In the meantime could you please tell me what it’s all about? Xo

      • Hi Lex! This is a fun way to get to know new boggers and give some exposure to others in the community. I chose your blog because I really enjoy your writting and honesty and I think others would enjoy too. So I hope you join in! The instruction are on my blog link. Thanks! Hope you’re having a great day!

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