struggling but pushing thru of course..


I am struggling with writing.. Today I have 23 days sober, and could not be more proud.. I have a goal for the next 7 days to write a post per day.. this is part of my own recovery.. I have a lot going on in my life and not a lot of physical support (family, friends etc) and I am starting the healing-o-the brain and need to get out some repressed things and make sure I am staying on track..

First of all living with an alcoholic is not joke.. this is the hardest fucking thing I have ever done, getting sober that is.. And my partner in crime is in complete denial that I or he has a problem.. I am begging for support and he just thinks this is a phase for me and I should be fine.. “Look how good your doing” “you can drink on weekends and holidays” and me .. Seriously man “I cant, just have one” “3 bottles of wine in one sitting is out of control do you not see this?”

ug.. so I am slowly detaching.. It is really hard.. I love him and my family, but cannot do any of it if I am drinking.. no way.. I cannot drink.. I will fuck it all up.. I need this, and HOpe he follows suite.. not sure what is after this but this is what it is for now.. this is enough today.. I am shaky thinking about it.. and this is my recovery so I need really to continue this path..

lex

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5 thoughts on “struggling but pushing thru of course..

  1. I am exactly in your shoes except I just came off of pain pills again for the third time and am writing about my adventures with just finding out my wife and I are having twins. Remember this that you are more powerful than any urge or trigger that may occur with the coming days. Sunday marks my fourth week after my relapse. Hang in there and be strong!

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