Going about this my “New” right way, and sticking to my Gunz…….

Woke up today and couldnt remember how many sober mornings had gone by.. I was tired, a little crabby, but historically I have never been a morning person.. Today no differnent, but I am sober.. No head/gut wrenching hangover to speak of.. No self pitty or  loathing or terrible self mental abuse.. I honestly just wanted to sleep instead of getting the Littles ready and fed and dressed and out the door.. I did it.. I did it all sober.. and I didn’t yell or throw up or walk around in a buzzy fuzzy stupor.. I just was their Mother.. I redirected #2 as usual when she forgets she is finding her shoes, I helped #3 change 4 times, and I marveled #1 as to how type A and organized and prepared she is..

Yes.. I am doing it.. I am feeling different.. Wonder if I have put this in any past posts.. how “different” this time is… well not important.. Today I see I have rearranged some patterns and sober tools to my advantage..  So my listy of  newfangled ways.. or something of the sort..

I have been not watching the days like I have been. I am trying to approach this time around a little different..
-I am letting things go a little bit, normally I am an ocd wacko cleaner/organizer..  and the disappointment in this is I live with 3 children and one adult child that do not care weather the laundry is done or the counter is clear..  I come home from work most times so irritated and disappointed that they trash everything I get anxious and irritated and resentful and mean and, you see where I am going here? I am trying to chill.. take care of me.. and things are falling into place, and If I need help I ask Mr..(who by the way sent me a photo of himself yesterday dumping out his jug of vodka and to my surprise admitted to me last night he as a problem)
-I am not taking any bull shit from him.. If he wants to jump on my super shiney sober bandwagon, by all means.. but I have to do this for me, not him.. and in reality not for my children.. for me so I can be the best mommy ..  (in the past 4 months he and his drinking and plain fucking up awake my Wolfie, I am done doing that)
– Treats..  you know the rest of that story..


2 thoughts on “Going about this my “New” right way, and sticking to my Gunz…….

  1. I love this!! I wonder if it finally works when you let go a bit – and I only say that because I”ve kind of done the same. No more obsessing (I don’t even know what day I’m on), no more pressuring my husband, no more “everything has to be perfect.” I’m really REALLY happy to hear that your hubby admitted that he has a problem. That is huge. But you’re right, he will have to find his own path. The awesome thing is that you are inspiring him by living your life the best way that you can. I’m so happy! BIG hugs to you, my dear! xoxo

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