dual personality, heart ache and feeling funny..

just as soon as i am on top of this whole sobriety thing.. I feel 4 pm come on and some big stuff happening in the next few days and need a drink.  my heart is broken over these crazy fucking thoughts.. I am tired and fuzzy and kinda dizzy and feeling funny..  i am resisting.. but with such easy access and no one in my face saying no.. I wont do it.. I simply wont.. but shit.. why now??

not not not going to do it..


8 thoughts on “dual personality, heart ache and feeling funny..

  1. Hey Lex, I was sneaky texting when I replied the first time so I wanted to get back to you and let you know that I’m thinking about you right now. I have my back and forth moments and one of the things that I work to remind myself is, I really don’t want to deal with the aftermath of drinking. I have had so many fragile moments since June and I know there will be more but, shit!, I just have to not add one more thing to it. All you need to do right now is find a safe spot, I don’t know what time it is where you live but if being safe means grabbing a pillow and blanket and sleeping on the floor in the kiddos room, do it. You will not feel like this tomorrow, promise. Take care.

    • It is ok.. And sneaky texting is so my gig.. Lol.. I made the gals some yummy enchilada bake, hit steamy lavender infused baths.. (Everyone is sick with a damn viral funk for days) I tucked them in snugly with hot vaporizers a plenty, a hot shower and freshly painted nails (which I never have patience to dry completely) and now I am hiding in my bed. Hiding from the booze hungry gremlins… I so appreciate the kind words and thoughts…

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