Poison and accountability…

I drank a lot last night.. I did not eat, and drank a shit ton of wine. . I didn’t reach out so no one stopped me.. I couldn’t stop myself.. I am terrified that this disease is stronger than I originally thought.. I am physically ill, mentally unstable, and horrified…

11 thoughts on “Poison and accountability…

  1. This disease is strong indeed! It’s cunning and baffling. But please don’t give up, you can do this. This was just a stumbling block that will hopefully get you to acceptance and to let go of the battle. Sending many hugs, hang in!

  2. There is a solution, and it works. Please don’t do this alone. Get to an AA meeting. It’s cunning, baffling and powerful and it will kill you. You can’t do it for your kids, or your husband or anyone really – you have to want something better for yourself. You deserve it, and you have to believe that! You’ll be able to face life on life’s terms because the 12 steps of AA will help you to stop hating yourself. Your community will teach you how to get through life 24 hours at a time. You will be comfortable in your own skin. These are the promises. There’s a solution – please reach out and grab the ring.

  3. I am sorry that things went pear shaped for you. This illness is quite powerful. For me (and I am just talking about me), I couldn’t out think, out wit, out wait or out stare it. I needed something more than willpower and distractions. Again, that’s me 🙂 This time of year is difficult for many, especially early in sobriety. I hope that you are feeling better today, and there is no reason why today can’t be Day 1 again.

    Get rest, drink lots of water, have toast.


  4. Are you feeling better? Man, drinking sucks. The hangover IS that ill, unstable, and horrified feeling–it’s NOT YOU, it’s the alcohol. I have been thinkin’ about you since I read this yesterday, and have been sending good vibes… Just make it through the “detox” from this session, and…move forward! YOU GOT THIS. Use this as a way to remind yourself that no matter how good it looks, drinking never ends well (at least for now…and we can deal with that “for now” aspect, right?). HUGS.

  5. Today is my day 1 again as well. I’ve never gotten as far as you, but I believe I can.
    Lick your wounds today…come back fighting tomorrow. I’m right there with you.


  6. Yes I’ve been there. I haven’t reached out before I reached for the bottle. I still have to learn that the alcohol, the hangover, the eating that comes with it during and after aren’t worth it.
    Stay sober today. Only for today. Reach out. Post on your blog or somewhere else. Whether we are “clean” or not, we’re all willing to help and support you. We need you!

  7. Wow, i somehow believed I was the only high functioning mother, worker, wife, that kept trying and then using again. My ego I guess. I cheer you from the sidelines. I think I believe that until i love myself, whatever that is, I won’t stop this insanity. And I dont know how to do that, so i just stay insane.

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