I have had the p0wer all along…. day 2


I am holding on.. Here, by a thread.. But my thread is strong and powerful.. It is connected to three small precious souls.. Souls I created.. I am not about to entwine my sick and twisty soul upon theyre hearts.. I am rising up.. I am learning each step I make to what Is my new world is supposed to be like.I am here I may have hit the bricks time and time again, but I am not done with this submersion into my new reality. I have the power I hold the key ImageStrict planning, Staying sober, getting thru the holidays.. These are attainable.. I can be this girl… back to square one, but its back to reality..

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15 thoughts on “I have had the p0wer all along…. day 2

  1. I hear you…. i am still struggling as well. went to my family doc yesterday emergently (she knows my drinking history) and she prescribed me antabuse which i picked up yesterday but still cannot make myself take it yet knowing that i will not be able to drink. need to get that one last “fling” in. ridiculous and insidious. but apparently i am getting ready if i made that initial step. i just need to fling myself into it. hang in there. we can do this.

    xoxo cheryl

    • I am so glad you told your doctor.. These are steps we have avoided for so long.. I hit up my doc a few weeks ago, and I know what needs to be done.. I will hang with you if you with me…
      so
      lex

  2. I’ve been looking for you because I’ve been worried about you … that’s an odd thing to try and do on the internet … you can hardly ask around (although I did do a bit of stalking … in my mum sort of way). Stay strong … you sound so good. I have two boys and maybe I’m missing a girl … I’m so glad to see you back, Lex … you sound like a pretty damn good person to me.

    • I’ve always had a thing for the British/Scottish ๐Ÿ˜‰ Nothing like an accent like that.. Hey.. I condone stalking actually I believe in it when you wonder and care and want to know everyone is doing ok.. Listen.. I went out of town and stepped back into time to a place where I was with out kids and husbands and my sister is there and I drank.. and I felt like a looser piece of shit but,, there is always a but…. I feel like these lessons get me closer to understanding my underlying self medication shit.. here is my email, please keep in touch, lets do this together.. Auntie_lex@yahoo.com
      Thank you for the comment about being a damn good person.. I try to be one and hope I can just show my kids that is what I am…
      xo

  3. Lex, I’m British, Scottish actually, does that help explain my replies? I think you are doing so well …. just, good for you …. keep on keeping on xxx

  4. It may be back to square one but you are right… you do have the power and you do have the key.
    For what it is worth you also have my kindest of hopes and thoughts. I wish you well!

  5. Don’t give the holidays any power. They’re just days that we march forward in our sobriety. Nothing else. Enjoy the holidays, rather than seeing them as something to trudge through. Find the positives in them. Find the joy. Be well, my friend ๐Ÿ™‚

    Blessings,
    Paul

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