I do want to grow up, I do!

I’m here.. I’m getting shit done.. I read something that hit me like a ton of bricks.. Forgive me if I get the quote or whatever wrong:
(I am finally after all these years of being a child see what it is like being an adult) ok something like that.. Drinking me is a fucking child, unable to keep things in order, looking for others to “help” but really take care of me and my shit when I was struck down with a stupid hangover.. I am unsure and un-confident and weak.. It’s the booze, wine what ever, it sucks my soul, leaves me a shell.. A little girl on the brink of snapping..
These past 10 or so days have me in a new head space. I am a grown up.. I am taking care of me, my girls and my space.. This is what is important right now.. To not drink and be safe and grown the fuck up.. I feel power from it. I see the extra time in the day.. I am present for the littles whom keep my heart beating.. This my friends is what I have been searching for… Self care and strength..
For now this is perfect… I am not perfect, nor is my journey… But this minute, this second I am sober and it feels pretty damn good..

8 thoughts on “I do want to grow up, I do!

  1. You can and you will especially now you know what you want.
    It is like leaving one world behind and entering another more calm, mature, grown up. Not dull but sophisticated!
    Go Lex! X

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