I slept for 12 hours.
I got up made french press coffee.. My house is tidy and my laundry is going..
I had a beautiful lunch, a detox soup with veggies and delish broth..
Took a bath at 1 pm.. used to much sugar scrub and slipped and slides in there.. but no matter, I was alone and soaking.
I am on day two, again.. I have to turn everything in my life upside down.. I am prepared.. I need to make sure I am healthy and fit for this little troupe of mine.. I get into old ways of thinking on Saturday nights. No work in am. kids all tucked in and put away for the night.. I deserve a wine or two or bottles.. This is fucked up.. I know it.. But that bitch of a Wolfie takes over and I forget how very far I have come..
You are who you are because you are doing what you are doing..
These words are always floating around in my brain.. So why the fuck can I not sink them into my soul???? Why do I abuse my self in such a way?? I am hurting, I am healing, I am tired, I am giving up, I am a person, wife mom.. I deserve to be sober and see the sparkly side of life..
good enough, deserving, loved, here..
I am staying here..