Does this Sober Cyber stuff make me Look Crazy???


So in talking to my significant other he believes that all this cyber sobriety is complete bullshit and thinks I may be whack.. So I have been rebutting with research and other findings online with success stories of people getting their serious sober on by turning to others with similar issues and drinky problems…  Firstly I will admit I have had my drama/trauma/bullshit/relapses all whilst using the cyber sober network I have been apart of, so to the laymen It looks like I cannot be successful in becoming sober this way, and to He whom I will never say his name, thinks I do not have a problem, nor should I turn to all y’all… Hmmmmmm This business is the kind of business that is tricky.. I am a very devoted wife, mother and professional in my profession;), and I happen to KNOW I have a drinking prob.. So The person whom I said I wouldn’t ever reveal is the “closest” person in my life and Has no clue how drinking and booze in general effect me?? Or, does he??? Like Im sure i have talked about before but I try not to talk about him to often as to keep my eyes on my own shitty paper This guy must feel threatened and I Do NOT Am NOT that kind of gal.. Yes he is loosing a drinking buddy, but I ain’t going anywhere.. I need many many many more sober days in order for that…  But I am sure him hearing me talk about being, getting, wanting sobriety is maybe getting old due to the fact I have a tendency to slip at the sight of wine..  Actually I want to be, get sober so I can be a better Wife, Mom, Professional… I do not want to hurt anyone along my path.. You follow??? It is daunting and exhausting and I have so much shit/responsibility I need to be a grown up and shut the fuck up and be at peace with myself and sober the fuck up.. k?? Well, I am still plugging along and I still am going to use my Sober Cyber Tools and Friends to continue on this path.. I don’t believe anyone can stop me.. I got a text yesterday from my Sober Sista in the booze free brigade, and I was asked to reveal who this person texting me is.. I said, She is also a Mom who Is a Drunky who wants to be sober.. And I got a quizical look and He knew there was nothing else to discuss.. I need you all I need my Sober sisters and Bros.. I am not out in the Real World, so I need to be held accountable in this world.. Its an ok thing right??? Needing sober cyber pals??? 

Well I am glad I drank the Kool-Aid ala Belle over at tired of thinking about drinking, and I am glad I stumbled upon Drunky Drunk girl, and Maya June, and Sober Jessie, and everyone else that has inspired and encouraged me.. This is me, this is my path, this is good right now.. I am going to STAY HERE….

Lex

xo

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18 thoughts on “Does this Sober Cyber stuff make me Look Crazy???

  1. I like the resolution here. Getting the need to get in line with the want and I was ready to bowl. The cyber community is fabulous. I just had to make sure I had something off screen to help me too. I admit that having a less than obviously supporting spouse is very difficult. I think you hit the nail right on the head there, Lex – hubby is losing a drinking buddy. And there is nothing worse for someone who enjoys their beverages to lose someone else who enjoys their beverages.

    you share a life with this man, but your sobriety is yours. Whether he supports it or not needs to be immaterial. Or else you’re playing by his rules. And that’s no good for alcoholics like us. His reactions are his. Getting sober is tough work to begin with, and taking on someone else’s stuff is barely surviving. Many people I know have spouses who react the same, or are alcoholic themselves, so it’s very hard. The ones that do well are the ones who detach themselves from the spouse’s reactions and thoughts. You are your own sober person. If he drinks the night away, that is his deal. I think you know this, and hence this post. YOUR sobriety, my friend.

    Protect it.

    Text, email, post as much as needed.

    Blessings,
    Paul

    • Paul, thank you for your words.. I know this is mine and it is important… I’m tending to it like my baby chick (as Belle would say) .. It’s all new and big and scary and am so blessed to have found this place where I can share and learn about so many others with similar things.. Xo Paul.. Ill stay close..

  2. Paul made excellent points. It is your sobriety. People in general hate change; it causes great anxiety for many. It may be that he is not ready to admit to himself that life is less than perfect. He may not want to see himself in that mirror. You know what you want and need. Focus on that.

    I began only on here, but I have found the women’s groups of AA helpful.

    Wishing you peace,
    Jill
    Blogging about my sobriety at whomejk.wordpress.com

  3. Yes, stay here. The only–ONLY–person who needs to validate you is you! And, to be frank, if someone does not support your getting sober, they need to go away. Whether that means, literally, sending them away, distancing yourself from them, or like Paul implies, ignoring them/letting their opinions roll in one ear and out the other… This is your life, your health, and you know what? You are doing the best you can, AND, you are trying to do better by getting sober. Who would not support that? My brother didn’t provide support when I was getting sober–he didn’t actively discourage me, though. Guess what? He’s not around to see the new me either. I was hurt at first, but I came to realize and then accept that whatever’s going on with him is his deal. And that, for me, in order to protect my sobriety (esp. since it’s still so new and fragile), I have to stay away from him. Limit how and when we interact. That scale of allowing people to touch my newfound sobriety applies to ALL; and, some people are more supportive and encouraging and healthy in their responses to it than others. Just keep being you, and do what needs to be done; and the rest will follow. YOU ROCK. This sober world is ONE tool of many, and you are using it. GOOD news! GREAT news. xxx

  4. I think you are doing the right think by getting sober and use whichever method suits you. Try to get some time down and then you will be able to think in a clearer way on the correct path forward. Recovery is a challenge at first, with all the triggers but it does become easier with time and practice. Maybe a counsellor might come up with a few suggestions that will help. Many people are surprised when we give up drinking . I did a good job of covering up my problems, but in time people will see that you are happier and are living a more fulfilling life and will be happy for you. Good luck!!

  5. the longer I stay sober the more convinced I am that we are the sane ones on a crazy world where it is normal to poison yourself every day and call it fun. If this is crazy then lock me up too! Stay clear, stay here! Xx

  6. The cyber community is indeed fabulous. There is always a place to go here to find encouragement and support from those who have shared the very experience we are now having. When I’m feeling crappy, I can sit here reading and feel that connection. Stay here. You are not alone. Hugs!!

  7. I second what Prim said. Alcohol,is poison, we are the sane ones. It’s an addictive drug, hence the difficulty trying to detox from it. Stay here. I live with a spouse who drinks every night but he is completely supportive of me. It’s got to be crazy difficult for you. If you need to talk about getting sober, email or text as you’ve been doing and leave him out of it so he won’t discourage you. The world is whack, we’re just trying to find a small peaceful calm place to be sane. Stay here.

  8. Hi Lex. Thanks for starting and keeping up your blog. It’s one of my favorites. It’s always a joy to come here and see a new post up and read/hear your distinctive voice. I’m sorry there isn’t more support in your actual home. It’s ironic, because reading your blog brings me such comfort and support. My husband isn’t exactly helpful either. He keeps hoping I can rejoin the 1-2 beverage crowd. (I wish I could join that crowd too, but drinking 1 or 2 beverages is not how I like to do things. I’m a much more committed drinker.) The Sober Cyber Tools are keeping me motivated and helping me through the Witching/Wolfing Hours. So please do keep on plugging along. You’ve got a fan in me.

    • Wow, Sally I’m so amazed by you.. Thank you for such kind words and, wow.. Like wow a fan;) I’m prepared to shoot down this sober path.. I want to more and more each day.. Thank you..xo

  9. I am really happy I got on WordPress today. jut reading all of this is helping me already. AuntieLex, I am so impressed by your resolve in the face of a currently not-so-supportive partner. I am no expert but I can imagine his view of people who need to stop drinking as the typical bottle-in-paper-bag, stumbling down the street types. It is hard for normal drinkers to understand what is happening on the inside for US who seem normal. he doesn’t see you that way, so he doesn’t understand. it’s one theory at least. I am just back on my booze-free journey and my boyfriend is being very supportive and cutting way back also. but he didn’t realize severity of my issues for a while. keep up with your strong, positive attitude and I look forward to hearing more.

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