Polar Vortex, Day 2 and Buck up Mama!!!!

I am here.. I am back at day two.. It was uneventful really.. On Friday I drank wine and thought Well shit the kids are at an over night on Saturday, I may as well get rocked with my husband, just like old times…  But the funny thing is even the old times I was a shitty drinker.. We did a little bar hopping, and I mixed all sorts of alcohol, and even was doing shots of Te-kill-ya at the end of the night.. I thought perchance we should just lay around and watch movies sans kids, but instead I gave into the gremlin wolfie. This is a lot of information I am giving up, but it is time for some fucking accountability.. People do not say no to me.. I cannot say no for myself, there for I am saying NO right now.. I am old enough to know better, and young enough to kick this shit to the curb.. I am hurting, I am lonely in this world of littles and work and family.. I try to make my life feel more like a fairytale by romanticizing my goblets of cheap as fuck wine.. This my friends is not me.. I am on a new adventure of the old me.. I am sticking that bitch in the corner in a cocoon and emerging soon as a butterfly.. Yea, Yeah Yea Lex we’ve heard it all before.. Your going to not drink even though you live with your drinking partner, and your family all drinks and thinks its odd not to see a glass in your hand.. You are giving up to easily Lex, you need to go to meetings, and do your self a favour and sober the fuck up…   I know.. I will… It is time to prove to myself that I am worth it.. Im good enough, strong enough, and gosh darn-it people like me… I want to like me.. The sober, self loving me.. Ok???? Is that to much to ask??? I think not.. Here is to day two, minute by minute hour by hour…

one day at a time..

12 thoughts on “Polar Vortex, Day 2 and Buck up Mama!!!!

  1. I am back on day 3, so I know exactly what you are going through. But let’s just start over again…..at least we came back!
    Joan B.

  2. Thinking of you, Lex … I have had a couple of day 2’s but still cannot get into the correct mindset to get much further than that at the moment. I feel I’m making progress by reading as much as I can and that approach certainly worked for me when I eventually gave up smoking. What is important, I think, is that you keep coming back.

  3. Pingback: the un-secret « Sober Identity ~ Reprogramming an Addictive Mind

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