Me: I am craving wine tonight.. I feel like shit and am all twitchy and anxious.. I am freaking out…
Him: That really sucks, do you need “Anything?”
Me: No, that’s the point here I don’t want “Anything” because I am trying to not fucking drink..
Him: Oh, I just figured you’d drink once and a while, you’ve done so well.. What about the next two weekends?
Me: Like our murder mystery party, and get away with the girls? I would hope to not drink.. I believe I have a problem here.. Don’t you think a person who never says no and drinks 2-4 bottles of wine in a sitting has some sort of a fucking problem?
Him: Well I don’t think yo have a problem, but if you don’t want to drink like forever I support you?.?.?
Me: I really want to get fucked up, but I quit drinking, got myself into AA, I’m going to bed.. (7pm)
Him: Is it bothering you I’m drinking?
Me: Yes, I am going to bed.. Goodnight!
I suppose because I have been floating around talking a lot about quitting for a long time, and didn’t take any measures to do so could fool a person when I say I want to drink but won’t.. Or, maybe I am crazy and do not express myself as well as I should.. I know I have a different way of communicating, I’m a tad passive, super fucking sarcastic, and a bit wishy washy… Ok that being said, I Amon my own journey and I don’t have to expect anyone to completely understand, right?
So with that fucking day over I will start a new one.. I’ve been up early due to my wheels a turnin and I put in 10 good hours of sleep…
Today I am not going to drink.. Today I am going to feel good about the feat I won last night and I’m not hungover and I will smile and snuggle my kids ever so much tighter because I am here…
I am staying here..