So waking up this morning I see on a Mom group that I belong to on Face Book A group of ladies some from my #1 and #2 school are gathering for a “play date” this morning at 9 am…. They have some babies or littles the same age as my #3 (shes 3)… Any hoo… The pics being posted are of tables and counters filled with bloody mix, fixins and Vodka.. Each mom brought a bottle of wine to share of pass or what the fuck ever… Now believe you me 2 years ago when My #3 was little and I was not as “far gone” so to speak.. I would have been there.. let all kids run rampant and play and get loaded.. Yes I admit that.. but in the past 2 years my drinking became more private, more secret if you will.. I preferred staying at home and glamorizing the thought of drinking cold white goblets on the patio with friends letting kids play or hanging out with Hub and drinking at the end of a torturous day…. This is what I was BELIEVING I was doing.. But in reality every 2-4 days I was tieing one on and getting wasted just enough to numb (black) out and drift like a ghost of me, to bed..
Whoa.. I was just going to talk about the moms on FB not got that far into detail.. But I suppose I am over-thinking a lot and trying to “decide” if AA is right for me, and Picking apart my habits and looking for any reason I am not a mommy alcoholic.. With that said.. It feels good to say I have had more sober days than drunk in the past 6 months.. I am struggling fuck yes I am.. I feel like I am being set up on one of those reality shows and any min Belle or Some Host is going to pop out with a TV crew and say… “See you are just a Boozer!” Bla…
What this really is, is me being brutally honest.. Step 1, Right.. Admitting is the first step… And besides all that I know I am allergic to booze.. I do not drink like anyone I know, I could compare all day to these women on FB or at a party or online or what ever, the truth is I am an alcoholic, and do I want to lead that guilt stricken, lonely, hurting, sick life??? Or do I want to be the Sexy Sober Mommy of three crazy girls at the party living life to the fullest…
Ha… Do I have to really answer that.. I choose #2…:)
So in honer of the CYBER SOBER CULT that I belong to, I posted this to just see if I get any sort of reaction… http://www.today.com/moms/moms-who-drink-how-much-too-much-2D79415239….
Lets be sober today.. Lets be sexy and healthy and strong, Ok???