I at the second day clear and free of a wobble.. I forgot how completely shitty I feel the week after drinking to excess.. I am an alcoholic.. It is all or nothing.. I am in charge of my destiny not anyone else or the wine.. what I do know is that being sober after 5, 7 or 9 days is like a miracle.. Also what I do know I am able to go thru some serious shit sober and than when I am home and all is said and done its like such a let down… and… you guessed instead of rewarding myself with a pedicure or treat, I drink unconsciously.. Or subconsciously??? regardless I am a drunk when I drink so It is best I don’t.. I am upping the tool box tools to keep up with my sober soul … I know it is hard and I can do hard things.. I am willing and ready..
stop the fucking insanity..
time for kids and summer fun and baking and crafting and rewarding myself for all the hard shit I do..
I wonder if I sound like a lame ass broken record.. I am scared to look back at posts previous.. I am sure it is a surreal experiment..