Days of grattitude and faking it. 


Today was today. Perfect and flawed and everything.. (Just as everything is everything).. I am struggling with insomnia, and the slightest uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my tummy as everything become more and more clear with each healing sober day..  I was up before 4 same as the evening before.. No matter… I read, caught up with sober cyber loves and drank delicious coffee as I watched the sunrise over the Midwestern Great Like I reside near..  Kids are in a long holiday from school and we had to hustle out the door so I could wrap up holiday madness at work..  We went to an indoor amazeballs play park and they ran off some energy and I sipped more coffe and read and worked on a few lists… I’m trying to keep,the holidays coming up simple and to the point.. An early dinner with hub and step son a quickie movie and now off to bed.. A sober day.. A day where I kept my back handed self talk at bay and gave Myself a little exra self love and care.. 

Be gentle with yourself your doing something that is not easy.. Your body is still tired and fragile and in need of good nutrients and hydration.. Sleep is so mandatory.. You actually took your melatonin and magnesium and told hub he may not enter the bedroom for at least 45 min.. 15 to write, 15 to read and 15 to meditate..  I want to remind you that the family function tomorrow at the OutLaws is not the holiday.. You and the girls are.. Do what you can and continue to rest and reflect and pray that resentments and anger just hang out when they visit, and leave shortly after.. Smile, and fake it if you have to.. You are good at it anyway.. Instead of dread tomo wake up with hope and wonder and fill in some new memory banks with a simple lovely day with your beautiful family.. You deserve easy, simple sobriety.. You deserve happiness and good old fashioned love.. 

I am Thankful for…

My 3 daughters

Sober mornings

Acceptance

The “Beaver” Full Moon tonight it is glorious.. 

A place to randomly put my thoughts into words and words into action

My cozy little home and all the necessities… 

A chance to be “The Real Me” 

Xo 

Lex

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5 thoughts on “Days of grattitude and faking it. 

  1. “You deserve easy, simple sobriety.. You deserve happiness and good old fashioned love.. ” So good, and so great to read first thing on this Thanksgiving Day.

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