Smart not Hard

I’m here.. I feel like a small lost child.. I on day 7 which we all know kind of sucks, but there is no drinking today.. I took all the booze out of my house before I brought. My husband home from the hospital on Wednesday.. He brought it back in last night.. He is determined to do what he does…

I cannot control or fix anyone but myself..

The moral of the story.. My shit is mine.. No matter how you slice it.. I will not stay sober unless I utilize my toolbox and make serious changes.. It’s ok.. It’s scary, but nothing to a hangover that feels like your heart may explode out of your chest and your eyeballs are falling out of your head… That’s terrifying.. Getting sober, asking for help, meetings again, therapy, meds, anything.. I’ll take anything… 

Teary, unsure, grateful Lex

9 thoughts on “Smart not Hard

  1. It’s true, keep your own well being in mind and the rest will fall into its own place. Setting out is always daunting but you’re not alone, you’re reaching out and you’re grateful. This is all GOOD xx. Sending you love.

  2. NOTHING is worse than a hangover. The longer I’m sober, the more “testing” by drinking two small glasses the other night–didn’t blog about it, don’t really think it’s necessary right now; but, yes, I did try–left me feeling horribly sandy the next day, anxious, and all aswirl with the unsure, negative, unable-to-think-about-the-future thoughts. It was the worst feeling, and I can’t believe I put up with it for so long. Lived through it, worked through it, traveled through it. Ugh. No more. I don’t ever have to be hungover again–and neither do you. Remember when you’re craving or feeling down or anxious: drinking will make it worse. Much worse. YOU KNOW IT. You’ve lived it long enough. Time to “give up” and…find another way through it. Finding another way is all, not necessarily “getting sober” or “not drinking.” Just finding another solution. We love you and are all struggling with exactly the same thing you are.

  3. Tough stuff – It was bloody hard and I had a really supportive family. We had booze in then out then in then out of the house. Finally one day we were clearing out and I found a bunch of old half full bottles – I remember the glug of them going down the drain but it was the best place for them at the time for me. Always put your sobriety first

  4. You are doing the right thing in reaching out and asking for help. The first few weeks are frightening and it is okay to feel lost. We are here for you. Sending you peace and the ability to reach deep down for the reserves of strength within you. Hugs.

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