I’ve forgotten over time..

Over years and years of conditioning, I somehow taught myself to walk around without breathing.  

Ive held my breath so long because;

I am astonished at others behavior.

I am overwhelmed with confusion or biting my tongue.

I cannot believe what I’ve just done. Or you or HIM…. 

I am trapped inside my mind, my marriage, my addiction…

I cannot imagine I’m worthy of Oxygen.

I may smell like wine, or weed or vodka.

I can barely move.

I am unsure of who I am, how I got here or where to go next..

I hate them.

I hate me.

I honestly don’t want to be with people..

I cannot believe this…

So many more 

Now it’s different.. that was before..  before I actually took a hard look at myself and my addiction and realized it’s me. All me. Old conditioned pathways and neurotransmitters and behavior.

I couldn’t breathe because I was not alive and living life.. I couldn’t stand who I was .. I didn’t see that I had to just love me and the rest will or won’t work out.. I’m learning slowly but surely to take long soulful breaths… Love me a little more each day.. Let that shit go and let HP take care of the rest.. zero fucks

P.s. I got a tat to remind myself often…



13 thoughts on “I’ve forgotten over time..

  1. That’s is a nice tatoo reminder, breath, I actually can relate to all that you said in this piece.
    By the way, after you breath can I take you home and make you some dinner? wink wink

  2. Feeling unworthy and actually existing as unworthy are two completely different things. Self depreciation is a form of self torture. Half a year sober and clean, is, in our opinion, worth A LOT!

  3. I found the way you write was amazing. sometime due to bad relationship people are frustrated and loose hope in their life but its not the end of life. you have thousands of desire try to full fill them may be you will get back to normal track of life.. yoga and meditation helps thousands of people to come outfrom these situations check out our blog hope it will helpfull and informative for you hope you like it https://www.spirityoga.org/blog/

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