The 171st day without a drink..


It’s early here in the chilly Midwest.. I get up and try to stay quite in a house where everyone else sleeps.. I make my coffee and my 6 year old joins me in my king sized bed for cartoons and snuggles.. It’s a perfectly lovely way to start a lazy Sunday.. No real plans except at some point wrap up any homework, bathe the children and make a meal or two to help out in the busy week ahead.. 

Simple. Sober. No hangover. No blurry vision from an unknown amount of opiates and immediate handful ingested upon waking.. No reason to sit outside in this chilly weather to smoke my hangover away with copious amounts of weed, coffee and cigs.. No frantic urge to twirl and clean and resent everyone in this house for not picking up their shit from the night before.

No. Content with just BEING..  It is perfect as is. The overwhelm I used to feel slowly is melting away.. I refuse to get a head about this.. I will try to keep my wits and stay humble because I just have this moment, this 24 hours..

It’s a bit of a ramble but I’m finding if I keep my shoulders square and my head up and my ego at bay I can make it this day till my head hits the pillow tonight.. 

here’s to a sober Sunday. Snuggles and good food.. keeping it simple and being gentle with me…

Xo

Lex

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16 thoughts on “The 171st day without a drink..

    • The struggle is so fucking real.. I wish I had the magic equation to all of this.. for so many years and years I wished to break thru to the other side.. I wanted nothing more than an easy way, I’d read books and blogs and take supplements or other drugs to try to get off the never ending vicious cycle of drinking….
      Just try and breathe. Hydrate. Eat when hungry. The simplest of tasks sometimes are daunting..
      Stay here.. xo

    • If there was a magic formula to this, there won’t be any alcoholics. ** chuckles** I truly believe our struggles in the past, now and in the future, mold us into who we are today. Sobriety shows me (the 4th step) who I was – a scared, lying, manipulating, selfish individual, who didn’t want to face life, thus drinking to escape, almost letting my addiction kill me. Today, I wouldn’t change that for the world. It’s molded me into who I am today; today I am a completely different person. A person I want to be. No one is perfect, we all have faults (defects of character) that we must work on. But the most important thing for me in early sobriety was my health, both physically and mentally, like AutieLex mentioned. Today, I tell people that if I’m not physically, mentally and spiritually fit, then I’m traveling down a dangerous road, perhaps back to a relapse. Even those of us with many moons under our belt struggle some days. You’re not alone. Reach out and there are others that will help you through this journey of sobriety.

  1. The one thing we have learned about alcoholism – It’s a sneaky, sneaky bitch. You think you have everything under control and the next thing you know, your drinking again. Congratulations on your continued sobriety.

  2. I too suffer from the disease of alcoholism, my disease wants me to isolate, be alone, push away anyone who loves me and to kill myself. My brain is on backwards and after 23 years I still have not figured out what the magic formula is, nor have I heard any recovering soul claim that they have found the magic elixir. Don’t struggle, accept, keep writing, stay in close contact with other recovering individuals because they understand what
    you are going through and they will not judge you because of your affliction. One day at a time.
    Love, hugs and blessings … ME and the Boss

    • Acceptance was HUGE for me.. I always accepted I was an alcoholic, for at least 20 years.. But what I didn’t realize was I had to accept help and letting go and doing the work..
      Thanks!

    • I quit smoking weed.. I am sorry to say I’m still smoking cigs.. Ahhh the Midwest is right.. It feels good that I’m helping a struggling one, yet a little strange in the sense it’s just simple crazy ol me.. how are you doing?

      • I’m in the Midwest as well, and as I’m typing this, the sun just came out for the first time in what seemed to be like a month, lol. I’m okay right now. Not anxious yet. It’s too early in the day still. I’m just not trying to think about it much and work is a good distraction right now. Thanks for asking. Hope you’re having a good day 🙂

      • So glad to know another Midwest sister.. My day was pretty good.. I’m doing some group therapy and than I had a sick wee one that needed a strep test.. now on to dinner and baths bla bla bla bed tonight asap.. our sunny sunshine disappeared and I’m close to Lake Michigan where the air is at least 20 degrees chillier than the rest o the state..
        do you have anything nice for you planed? I’m gonna take a hot hot shower and hit my clean sheets as soon as the kids go to bed.. today this is much better reward than uber amounts of poison..

  3. I’m so glad you are enjoying the simple pleasures.
    I still love waking up not being hung over!
    I live in Minneapolis, raised in Wisconsin!
    The Midwest is all I know. I love the natural beauty of these states.
    Wendy

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