Some ruminating thoughts… I’m working tirelessly on my sobriety from my vices… Changed just about everything in my life.. Stuck it out and worked hard for a 3 plus children, chronically codependent, alcoholic, addicted chronically ill relationship…. Here’s the thing… I have been lied to on many occasions.. And a couple handfuls of Shit Bombs that entail really dark lies.. I have sacrificed and cared for, picked up after, and begged for his attention… Today I woke after a dream and was triggered, and thoughts of my relationship came flooding back.. Honestly, I’ve put anything as far as attention on my marriage since I started my sobriety path on October 7th.. And post Oct.7, things were really bad. He, so sick he could barely work, get out of bed, walk to the kitchen.. On top of this and his nightly imbibing to toxic, drunken levels. I was in the darkest part of my addiction..
He also gave up drinking… Now, I feel like I’ve changed so much… He as well… I started liking me.. Speaking my truth.. I am a ball of confusion.. I will do what’s right here in front of me.. Stand taller knowing I’m going to be okay if I do toTrudge..
happiness is in the eye of the beholder.. or something like that..