I love writing lists.. Perfect time for a list of what works or not, for me and my fight to freedom.. There is a LOT going on at home for me, so putting me and my safety, sanity, and sobriety need to be put on the top of my list… Treating myself like I deserve to be treated..
Isolation.. From friends, family, sober friends, cyber sober culty friends, activities with kids and school functions..
An “I can do this on my own” attitude.. Duh
Allowing booze to constantly be brought into my home.. And than immediately feeling anger and resentment..
Not utilizing my sober tools.. Therapy, physical activity, sharing with others like me, eating when hungry, sleeping when tired, letting the overwhelm of my chaotic world run my mind…
So I suppose if I think about it all paths and triggers for my next slip.. I’m stringing along days and than Bam! Well you see the pattern… Me too..
Things that work..
As cheesy as I feel, Mindfulness.. If I practice my version of mindfulness and meditation daily I stay on track.. I remind myself to breathe in and out… Center and use love and compassion for myself and others.. This practice is newish to me and I see it part of my long lived recovery path.. Don’t know exactly how or why, but I feel like this is a big key to my inner peace I constantly try to force upon myself..
Utilizing a simple daily schedule.. I’m A.D.D. And have a tendency to be all over the place and my house and other daily tasks suffer a bit.. I need simplicity and a semi organized bubble.. Unfortunately I am responsible for getting my kids on hand to help and do a lot of it myself.. In early sobriety like today for example, I have to rest and heal and slowly get my mind and surroundings back to functioning.. I try to have a few simple chores and tasks to do daily so the overwhelm stays slightly at bay.. A load ofLaundry, a walk, plan simple healthy meals for my family, drink a great deal,of water (I actually check off ounces to stay hydrated) And sleep at least 8 hours a day.. Simple but when I start slipping so does this, and it’s like a vicious cycle..
Yes, taking it a day at a time… Some days minute by minute, or only till bedtime..
Reaching out.. Asking for help..
Not beating my self up.. Loving my self enough… Just enough to not pour poison into my body..
I’m going to stop right now.. Over do it, over share.. I don’t know. Just a list for now..
Here’s to day two.. Got my walk in.. Had a healthy breakfast, shower.. Keeping it simple today.. #3 at home with a fever.. Movies and snuggles for us toady..